I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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