Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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