This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
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