My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Randomize
