So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
