I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Drake has all the answers
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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