Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
