I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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