I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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