I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
