i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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