Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
