Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
