glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
worst night to have a conscience
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
