I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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