I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
