So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
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They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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