I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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