Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
should my penis look like a turkey
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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