We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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