just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
