I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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