Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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