North Korea, Best Korea!
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
