I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
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We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
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Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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