Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I need to sanitize my soul.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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