sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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