Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
