wat bout pragnant strippers??
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
