That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
