Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
