To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i think my mom watched the whole time
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
