is your mom at the bar?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
