Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I supernannyed him into submission
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
