My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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