I didn't shave. On purpose
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
