Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize