I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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