Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
