I hope mine doesn't look like that
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
