u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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