worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Everclear isn't food dammit
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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