Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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