At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
