Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
