But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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