We won't sleep together?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
