You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
