Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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