No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
