she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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