So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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