quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
