so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
