I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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