did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
