somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
