one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize