Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
