In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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