U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
he thought i was a dude.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
